What happens? What makes it good? What is the difference between Monday night's rehearsal where I cried because I was SO discouraged....and tonight, where there were no emotive theatrics, and hope raised its weary head?
Yes, I know I'm overly emotional about stuff, but...I just...care. And maybe it's good to have things in your life that are worth crying over. I think so.
In any case, somehow, at least in my eyes (the ones that matter?), the show has gotten MUCH better. But...does it really GET better...or is it just that repeated viewings somehow subconsciously lower my expectations...alter my original vision, lower my standards for performance? Is it just that what I'm seeing is so beyond my recent expectations that it seems better than it really is?
I don't know. It's an interesting question. But what I do know is that...the show IS better. Timing, character, volume, delivery, the humor...most of these are suddenly THERE. Suddenly, I'm smiling. I'm seeing bursts of theatre beauty, moments of true entertainment. And I am PROUD of my 'rookies'.
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